change | 27.05.17

I hate change. I absolutely despise the thought of things not being how I've got used to them being. I get so comfortable and safe in that bubble of whatever it is that I can't handle it when it gets taken away. I hate change, and yet right now all I can see is miles and piles of change that stretches out beyond me and I am scared. I have finished college, a place that I have been for two years. I have never changed, grown up, and experienced so much as I did in the two years that I was there, and I don't feel ready to move on to something else as the person that I am now. I've still got exams left, and then I don't know. I don't know what's happening with the rest of my life. I don't know where I'm going to be in September, and I'm going to have to meet new people and make new friends even though I've just got comfortable in the circle that I'm in. We all went to the pub yesterday, and it was the happiest I have felt in a very long time. But today I have woken up and I'm afraid and upset. I don't know what the rest of my life is going to be, and I am scared.

18 things I learned by 18

In my short life I have learnt a few things. Here are some of them:

1. cutting people out of your life to make you happier does not make you a bad person
2. if your shoes get wet in the rain, stuffing them with newspaper will make them dry quicker
3. things happen and people make mistakes but that doesn't always mean they are bad people
4. life is easier when you're on good terms with people - always try to make amends
5. brushing your teeth will always make you feel better
6. getting smashed the day before a job interview will not be "fine". IT WON'T
7. surround yourself with people who make you happy but also people that make you question things and challenge you when you need challenging
8. there are few greater joys in life than going to bed while it's still light outside
9. nothing is as important as your mental and physical health, no matter how it seems sometimes
10. be kind to people! there is no reason to not be open-minded and welcoming of all people wherever you go
11. it's okay to change how you act a bit around different people - different people bring out different parts of you
12. everything is much funnier when you narrate the thought process of that seagull over there
13. get a haircut. it's fun and refreshing
14. spend time with your family, no matter how much you don't want to sometimes
15. no one is inherently better than you, and similarly you are not inherently better than anyone else. get to know people
16. exams are shit and do not indicate what you're like as an actual human being
17. put your pyjamas on the radiator while you're in the bath
18. always put time aside for yourself, there's only so much you can do if you haven't taken care of yourself first