Throughout my life, I am lucky enough to say that I have had many friends. I have pretty much always had a moderately sized friendship group, and I have always had a circle of close friends. It is only in the past few years, though, that I feel I'm truly learning what this means.
I'm 19, and my friends' ages range from around 18-21. These late-teen/early-twenties years are notorious for the amount of change that goes on in them, both as a person and in your surroundings. For example, three years ago I was 16, still in secondary school, living at home, with the same group of people I'd known since I was 4. Two years ago, I was 17, in sixth form, in a relationship and with very few social links outside of that. One year ago, I was 18, about to leave sixth form, and with a large group of friends who I'd only met in the few months prior. Now, I'm 19, in my first year at uni, with one group of friends from my hometown, another from here, and my girlfriend. In three years, my friendships have changed at least 4 times and at several other points in between, and this has not always been easy.
Everyone's lives are constantly shifting, and these movements don't always fit with one another's. For example, I have one friend who I've known for around five years. For the sake of whatever I won't give him a name, but anyone who knows me knows who he is too. He and I have frequently fought, bickered, gone months without speaking, but for whatever reason we have never fully stopped being friends. It is only recently that we had a discussion about how our personalities and lives should work with one another, and the simple conclusion is; they don't. We have branched off in separate directions from the same tree, and while this is a little difficult, taking the pressure off of our friendship is ultimately the only way to keep it.
I know that there will be other situations like this throughout my life, particularly in the coming years, and I think I'm finally understanding that a real friendship isn't always hanging out and texting all the time, constantly being updated on the other's life. It's calm, and it's safe, and it's there even if they're not. It doesn't have to be a battle to have the perfect friendship. It is what it is, and the best thing is to let it do what it needs to do.
I am thankful that I have people in my life who I really feel support me and care for me, while also giving me my space and challenging me. I have a lotta love for my pals, and that's not going away anytime soon.
Speak soon,
big love,
Menna xxx
